No relationship is perfect, and if you’re like most couples, you’ve probably hit a few rough patches along the way. Maybe you’ve had more arguments lately, or it feels like the communication between you and your partner isn’t what it used to be.
In this case, is therapy worth it? Yes! Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, there are moments when things get tough and professional guidance might be needed. However, many couples wonder whether couples therapy or marriage counseling is the right choice for them.
While both approaches aim to strengthen relationships, they may serve slightly different purposes and are designed for different needs. Understanding these differences can help you choose the right approach for your unique situation, so let’s get into the details.
What is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is designed for all types of intimate relationships, whether you’re dating, engaged, or married. It’s a broad and flexible approach aimed at helping couples navigate emotional connections, personal growth, and relationship dynamics.1, 2 It focuses on the following:
- Long-term focus – Unlike marriage counseling, couples therapy doesn’t just tackle immediate problems; it dives deeper into the relationship itself, exploring how both individuals can grow together and nurture their emotional intimacy.
- Emphasis on growth – Couples therapy helps partners understand their communication styles, resolve past traumas, and meet each other’s emotional needs.
- Building future skills – The therapy equips couples with the tools to address not just current conflicts but also to handle future challenges effectively, fostering a more resilient and healthy relationship.
For example, a couple struggling with communication might use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to reconnect emotionally, or they might explore the Gottman Method, which is built on decades of research into what makes relationships thrive. This approach focuses on strengthening the friendship between partners, managing conflicts, and supporting each other’s life goals.
What is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling is specifically designed for married couples or those in long-term partnerships, focusing on resolving immediate relationship problems that are often rooted in marriage.1. It focuses on the following:
- Immediate marital issues – Marriage counseling addresses significant problems like infidelity, trust issues, and recurring conflicts over finances. It aims to resolve any present issues that threaten the health and stability of the marriage.
- Short-term, focused interventions – This type of counseling typically involves structured, short-term sessions where therapists help couples improve their communication skills, resolve conflicts, and rebuild trust.
- Therapeutic techniques – Methods like behavioral couples therapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are often used to help partners shift negative thought patterns, improve behaviors, and strengthen their emotional connection.
Marriage counseling is especially beneficial for couples who feel emotionally disconnected but want to restore their bond. Whether you’re navigating a major life transition or dealing with recurring issues, marriage therapy offers a supportive space for you and your partner to work through these challenges with the guidance of a licensed therapist. It helps you create actionable steps to improve your relationship and rebuild trust.
Techniques and Approaches
Techniques in Couples Therapy
Couples therapists use various approaches depending on the couple’s specific needs. Two of the most common methods are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – This technique helps couples identify and change negative emotional patterns that harm their relationship. By understanding and addressing these emotional responses, couples can improve emotional intimacy and strengthen their bond. 3, 4
For example, a couple might learn through EFT that their partner’s withdrawal or avoidance during arguments might come from a fear of rejection. By understanding this pattern, they can work together to create a safer emotional environment.
- The Gottman Method – Developed through extensive research, this approach helps couples improve relationship satisfaction by focusing on friendship, managing conflicts, and setting shared goals. It offers practical tools to improve communication and build a solid foundation of emotional support.5
Couples who may be struggling with constant arguments may use the Gottman method to learn how to “fight fair” by focusing on productive conversations and using “I” statements that recognize inner feelings rather than “You” statements that blame the partner.
Techniques in Marriage Counseling
In marriage counseling, the focus tends to be more immediate, addressing specific challenges within the marriage. Techniques like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Solution-Focused Therapy are commonly used by marriage counselors.
- Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – This method helps couples recognize and change negative thought patterns that lead to unproductive behaviors. In marriage counseling, CBT is used to handle issues like trust problems and other relationship challenges by reshaping how partners view and respond to these conflicts.4,5 For example, a couple may work on reducing their accusations during arguments by challenging these negative assumptions and having calmer, more constructive discussions.
- Solution-Focused Therapy – As the name suggests, this method focuses on finding practical solutions to specific issues. Couples work with a marriage counselor to identify what’s not working in their relationship and develop concrete steps to fix those issues. This method is especially helpful when dealing with time-sensitive or high-stress situations, such as financial disagreements or communication breakdowns.6
While factors such as the couple’s mental health and the timing of therapy can affect outcomes, success often depends on both partners’ commitment to the process. So, if you’re asking, “Does marriage counseling work?” the answer is a resounding yes for many couples who are willing to put in the effort.
Who Can Benefit from These Methods?
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is ideal for anyone in an intimate relationship — whether you’re in a long-term partnership, engaged, or even in the dating phase. It’s particularly helpful for couples looking to strengthen their connection, improve communication, or build a more resilient relationship. Couples who want to grow together, work on emotional intimacy, and better understand each other’s needs can benefit greatly from couples therapy.
To summarize, couples therapy benefits those who are:
- Building a resilient relationship
- Strengthening emotional intimacy
- Aiming for growth even without major issues
- Dealing with important life transitions
Marriage Counseling
Marriage counseling is best suited for married couples or long-term partners facing significant challenges. If you’re dealing with major issues like infidelity, trust breakdowns, financial conflicts, and other ongoing issues, marriage counseling can help you work through these problems in an organized and supportive environment.
To summarize, marriage counseling benefits those who are:
- Addressing significant marital issues
- Rebuilding trust and communication
- Dealing with major life changes related to marriage (e.g., being a new parent, moving, or financial stress
- Trying to achieve relationship stability in the long run
While marriage counseling often focuses on resolving relationship issues that threaten the stability of the marriage, it can also help couples navigate smaller, day-to-day challenges that are causing stress like managing household responsibilities.
If you’re concerned about costs, you might wonder, “Is marriage counseling covered by insurance?” Many insurance plans do offer coverage for marriage counseling, especially if it’s related to mental health concerns like anxiety or depression affecting the relationship. It’s a good idea to check with your provider to see what’s included in your plan.
Making the Right Choice
Evaluating Your Relationship Needs
Choosing between couples therapy and marriage counseling comes down to evaluating the state of your relationship and the type of support that you need. If you’re in a long-term or married relationship and facing immediate, significant issues like trust problems or infidelity, marriage counseling may be the best option.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for relationship growth in general, to improve communication, or to strengthen emotional bonds, even if you’re not a married couple, couples therapy might offer the broader, long-term guidance you need.
It’s important to take an honest look at your relationship, your goals, and the challenges you face. Are you addressing short-term problems, or are you focused on long-term growth and emotional connection? Answering these questions can guide you toward the right method.
Commitment to the Process
To get the most out of therapy, it’s essential to enter each session with an open mind and a willingness to actively participate. Whether you choose couples therapy or marriage counseling, your commitment to the process is key to success.
It’s not enough to simply show up; both partners need to be invested in the work, applying the skills learned in therapy sessions to everyday interactions and challenges. When both partners are fully engaged, the chances of long-term success increase significantly.
What to Expect
From Couples Therapy
In couples therapy, the process often begins with an assessment of your relationship dynamics, communication patterns, and emotional needs. As therapy progresses, the therapist will guide you through exercises designed to improve emotional intimacy, deepen your understanding of each other, and strengthen your connection. The focus is often on long-term growth and personal development within the relationship.
From Marriage Counseling
In marriage counseling, the sessions tend to be more structured and focused on resolving specific issues. You might address problems like communication breakdowns, financial stress, or infidelity. The therapist will help you and your partner deal with these challenges by providing tools to rebuild trust and improve communication. Marriage counselors often work with couples to develop actionable steps to improve their relationship, with the goal of resolving immediate issues and fostering a stronger marital bond.
Take the First Step to a Healthier Relationship with Geode Health
Choosing between couples therapy vs marriage counseling depends on where you are in your relationship journey and the challenges you’re facing. Couples therapy offers a broader, more exploratory approach, helping couples at any stage strengthen their emotional bonds and improve communication. Marriage counseling, on the other hand, focuses on resolving specific issues within the context of marriage, making it ideal for couples facing more immediate challenges.
At Geode Health, we understand that every relationship is unique, and we’re here to help you find the right support. Whether you’re looking to grow together or heal from recent struggles, our licensed therapists offer compassionate, professional guidance tailored to your needs. Don’t hesitate to reach out and explore how we can support your journey toward a healthier, stronger relationship.
Sources
American Counseling Association. Topics – Special Considerations – Couples, Marriage, & Family. (n.d.). https://www.counseling.org/resources/topics/special-considerations/couples-marriage-family
Lebow, J., & Snyder, D. K. (2022). Couple therapy in the 2020s: Current status and emerging developments. Family Process, 61(4), 1359–1385. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12824
Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016). A review of the research in emotionally focused therapy for couples. Family Process, 55(3), 390–407. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.1222
Bodenmann, G., Kessler, M., Kuhn, R., Hocker, L., & Randall, A. K. (2020). Cognitive-behavioral and emotion-focused couple therapy: Similarities and differences. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 2(3). https://doi.org/10.32872/cpe.v2i3.2741
The Gottman Institute. (2024, September 19). The Gottman Method – about | The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
Stermensky, G., & Brown, K. (2014). The perfect marriage: Solution-focused therapy and motivational interviewing in medical family therapy. Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care, 3(4), 383. https://doi.org/10.4103/2249-4863.148117
