The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, but many people find it challenging to fully embrace the season, even with eager anticipation and preparation. Various factors contribute to this struggle, but there are effective strategies to help you navigate these feelings and create a more peaceful holiday experience.
Nicole Demikis-Bayron, Psychiatric Physician Assistant at Geode Health in Chicago, offers insights into the impact of mental health during the holiday season. “The holiday season comes at a time of year when there’s a lot of transition happening,” says Demikis-Bayron. “We set our clocks back, it gets dark earlier, and the weather changes. This can leave some feeling a bit more down, in both energy and mood. Then, in a short timeframe, a lot happens all at once—holiday parties, social gatherings, and lists of tasks to accomplish before the new year. This can feel overwhelming and anxiety-provoking.”
According to a 2023 poll by the American Psychological Association, 89% of U.S. adults said that concerns such as not having enough money, missing loved ones, and anticipating family conflict cause them stress at this time of year.
“It’s possible to experience the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ in a way that feels more meaningful and enjoyable,” suggests Demikis-Bayron. “It’s helpful to think about how we can intentionally enter this busy holiday season, giving ourselves a chance to slow down and meet its challenges and joys with a supportive mental health approach.”
Set Realistic Expectations
Unrealistic expectations for holiday perfection can lead to disappointment and anxiety. Practicing self-compassion and adjusting expectations is essential to alleviating this pressure. Remember, perfection is unattainable. Instead, focus on creating enjoyable experiences rather than idealized versions of the holidays. This applies to everyone—not just children! Adults often carry enormous expectations for how the holidays should unfold, and when reality falls short, the resulting disappointment can feel overwhelming.
As Demikis-Bayron suggests, “Our perspective is powerful.” By shifting your mindset, even when things don’t go as planned, you can open yourself up to finding something positive in the moment. If something isn’t working out exactly as you had envisioned, try to shift your focus away from negative thoughts and feelings and challenge yourself to find something positive or meaningful in the present situation. Give yourself time to calm down and take a break. Writing down your thoughts or feelings can be helpful in processing disappointment and anxiety around changed plans or unexpected circumstances.
To add to the pressure of living up to unrealistic expectations, social media often amplifies the need for ‘perfect’ holidays. People compare their behind-the-scenes to others’ highlight reels, which can worsen feelings of stress or inadequacy. Consider disconnecting or limiting social media exposure to avoid unnecessary pressure.
Establish Boundaries
While managing expectations is a big part of reducing holiday stress, it’s also crucial to consider how your personal limits and relationships impact your emotional well-being. The holiday season often brings family dynamics to the forefront. What’s typically manageable throughout the year can become more complicated during this time. Complex relationships or past traumas may resurface, making gatherings uncomfortable.
Demikis-Bayron states, “I often encourage my patients to think ahead to any planned gatherings or upcoming discussions that may be emotionally or otherwise triggering. How can you cultivate a plan to put into place when you start feeling tense at a family holiday gathering? Can you take a quick walk around the block for some fresh air or call a trusted friend to talk it out?”
Learning to say no to overwhelming commitments is crucial. Prioritize events and activities that bring joy and meaning to your life. Remember, you have the right to distinguish between what feels like an obligation and what feels like a choice.
“These strategies can help de-escalate anxiety, reduce discomfort, and boost your confidence when entering a potentially stressful situation,” Demikis-Bayron adds. “This also gives us insight into our boundaries and allows us to practice saying no or communicating our limits before a stressful situation arises.”
Practice Mindfulness
Holiday stress often stems from financial strain, event planning, and anxiety over gift-giving. Emphasizing coping techniques can empower individuals to manage this stress effectively. To keep your finances in check, plan ahead, create a budget, and stick to it. While starting the budgeting process early in the year might seem premature, it can significantly reduce the stress of last-minute spending. Spreading out extra expenditures can help, especially if you’re concerned about a hefty credit card bill after the holidays.
Demikis-Bayron offers this insight: “Remember, the holidays aren’t always about the money you spend. Take time to notice what you enjoy most about the holidays that money can’t buy—whether that’s a nostalgic smell you associate with your favorite holiday dish or music! There are plenty of opportunities to take a mindful moment to consider the intangible aspects we love about the holidays. This doubles as a great mindfulness exercise to practice in moments of overwhelm or stress and can help foster feelings of gratitude.”
While many holiday traditions may be cherished, engaging in mindfulness techniques—such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga—can help you remain present and reduce anxiety, allowing you to enjoy them to their fullest.
Be Aware of Emotional Triggers
The holiday season can evoke feelings of loneliness, grief, or anxiety, particularly for those who have lost loved ones or are away from family.
“Not everyone experiences positive emotions around the holidays or year-end celebrations, which can feel isolating,” says Demikis-Bayron. “It’s important to find spaces—whether in your social circle or through group or individual therapy—where you can foster connection and process emotions as they arise.”
Seeking support and connection is crucial for those struggling during this time. Engaging with friends, family, or professionals can combat feelings of isolation. Additionally, finding ways to transform negative emotions associated with loss into positive reflections on cherished memories can be empowering. Individual approaches to processing these feelings will vary, so seeking professional guidance is encouraged for navigating emotional triggers.
Create a Self-Care Plan
The hustle and bustle of the season often leads to neglecting self-care. Taking time for yourself is essential for enhancing overall well-being and happiness. Unfortunately, many of us have been conditioned to feel guilty for prioritizing self-care. However, we all have the right to nurture our well-being.
Schedule time for activities that nourish your mental and physical health, such as exercise, reading, or pursuing hobbies.
Here are some quick self-care strategies to consider:
- Schedule regular moments of restorative rest each week.
- Keep a list of your favorite activities that help you relax.
- Don’t feel guilty about taking a break—self-care isn’t selfish.
- Prioritize your mental health appointments during busy times.
It’s essential to make time for the things we want to do instead of only focusing on the tasks we have to do. This is especially important when we feel pulled in many directions, such as holiday planning and obligations. Make time for these activities to fuel your energy, replenish your spirit, or reward yourself.
“I talk with my patients often about ‘restorative rest,’ rather than just self-care. Restorative rest is ideally something we practice daily. Resting and giving ourselves a break is essential, especially during high-stress situations. Restorative rest can look like cozying up on the couch with your favorite food or getting dressed up and going out with friends or family.”
Additionally, it’s crucial to prioritize your mental health appointments during this busy time. Try your best to avoid canceling or postponing these important sessions, as they provide vital support when you need it most. Remember, self-care isn’t just about feeling obligated to take care of others; it’s about recognizing and addressing your own needs as well. By ensuring you take time for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the demands of the season and support those around you. Geode offers an online booking tool to easily find available appointments that work with your schedule.
Create Space for Seasonal Serenity
Be intentional this holiday season by planning ahead to cope with your triggers, allowing time for self-care, setting necessary boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and balancing expectations. You may surprise yourself when you create space for peace by shifting your perspective. Embrace the moments of joy already within your reach—and remember it’s not about the perfection of the season, but about the peace you create. Find joy and be merry!
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